It is about a dream I had (the first post I made was dated last Thursday) the night before I made this blog.
Please do consider that it is a dream. Lots of random people and random events were present. So, enjoy the ride in this series of events.
The earliest part of the dream I remembered was that I was in a public comfort room. Probably, the one that was nearest to a swimming pool ('cause I would see a swimming pool in the middle part of my dream). Jennie (popularly know as Xiao Prieto), who was my classmate in elementary, schoolmate in high school and a fellow anime fan, was there. Not sure though, but I think I was having some problem with the door or locks of the cubicles there.
The next scene was I was already in a white swimwear. Well, I was still conservative even in my dream so it was definitely no bikini and was just a decent two-piece. So, I guess, we can assume that I changed to my swimwear while I was in the comfort room. There was this swimming pool with some of my colleagues from Fabian (my first employer) and from my current employer (Punongbayan & Araullo, an audit firm). The Fabianites and Fabianettes who were present in the pool were Zeta (still works there), Tetet (no longer works there), McDo (still works there) and Fahad (no longer works there). The only P&Aer I could remember there was Karz. I'm not sure though if there were other people in the pool aside from those I have mentioned above.
Then, while I was still in the pool, I remembered putting on a pair of denim shorts. Then, I climbed out of the pool and then, Karz went like, "O, nag-shorts lagi ka? (Why are you in shorts?)". I can't remember responding to her question. I also can't remember what I was thinking why I wore those denim shorts.
The next scene in my dream that I remembered was in a restaurant. It wasn't much a posh restaurant but decent enough, much like Lachi's (a small restaurant in Marfori Heights here in my city), only the place was bigger. I can't really remember anymore what else happened there except that I saw some silvery nuptials on a table. I could remember "November 2009" on it and Marilyn's name. Marilyn is the girlfriend of a guy I used to have a huge crush on when I was still in college. That guy is Leigh. Marilyn and I are much, like, not yet friends but pretty good acquaintances, like, we say-hi-hello-to-each-other-in-the-elevator acquaintances. Well, I'll make another post explaining how we came to be good acquaintances.
Back to the dream. Leigh was there, too, in the restaurant. I can't remember seeing Marilyn there ('cause if she were there, I would've said hi to her, 'cause we're good acquaintances, remember?). Then there was this guy, I don't know how it happened, but I was sitting and this guy was standing and I just sat there behind that guy's back to hide from Leigh, like, I didn't want Leigh to see me.
I, kind of, shared to Rhea (a fellow P&Aer) the part in my dream where there were nuptials, Leigh and a guy. Then, she said that my dream meant that I still had feelings for that “Leigh person”. And the guy, you know, the one I used as a “shield” so Leigh couldn’t see me, Rhea said I was only using him as a “panakip-butas” (I really don’t know what panakip-butas is in English, maybe a bit like a rebound guy, or somebody you use as a temporary replacement to an ex-partner, but Leigh never became my partner, so, maybe it’s inapplicable).
Okay, here’s the thing. Leigh was my crush. He WAS my ultimate crush. But that’s all that’s there. Nothing more. I never had the opportunity to find out if he could be someone I would love (like someone I wanted to take care of, someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, someone whom I would've wanted to be a witness to my journey towards death, etc.). There were times in the past that our paths crossed again after about two years since he graduated from college. But during those times, he was already with someone. In the way he spoke to me, and even in our message exchanges on the net (friendster) before, I saw no sense of him having any admiration towards me either. Him being a part of my past YOUNG college life of crushes was something I could never erase.
A crush is never equal to love. Love may start from it though. Hehe
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